Life As We Chose to Know it
by Aloysha aka Solis
Summary: Everyone is moving on like Spinner's a bad memory. Marco can’t abandon his best friend, not after everything they’ve faced. He finds himself alone and falling apart with three unlikely sources to hold him up. SLASH


Life as We Chose to Know It

I don't own…anything! Such is the sad affair that is my life.

Author: Aloysha

Rating: Eventual R

Pairings: Jay/Marco and Spin/Sean. Dysfunction is hot… Some light JT/Manny, Jimmy/Hazel, Craig/Ash, and Paige/Ellie.

Warnings: Violence, Homophobic 'tudes and actions, Language, Slash, Angst, Depression, Darkness, Cutting, and such. Selective awareness of the past seasons. Some light bondage BDSM type…theme…things.

Timeline: Takes place the summer after grade eleven, pointedly ignoring what may become of season five in the process.

Notes: Was up before, is now edited with some content and has more of a plot behind it.

Summery: Everyone is moving on as if Spinner was a bad memory. Marco can't abandon his best friend, not after everything they've faced, and he finds himself falling apart with only his fellow outcasts to hold him up.

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Prelude

Smoky Haze

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It was graduation. Most of his friends were getting prepared to graduate, to walk across the stage and become adults and…whatever it was they were supposed to be doing. Marco isn't though. Marco, Spinner, Jay, and Sean…they're not. It doesn't matter to them.

Very little matters. Not Paige's worry or Alex's warnings or Ellie's concern, or…any of it. It was all suddenly background noise to him.

Marco thinks, as he lays next to Jay, that this is all really fucked up. It wasn't really supposed to be like this, he isn't supposed to be this…this black wearing semi-punk with a halo of smoke floating above his head and eyeliner stuck in the corners of his eyes and a boyfriend who his parents will never approve of, even if his father manages to get over the 'gay thing', as Spinner calls it. He isn't supposed to skip graduation or prom or any of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

Not for this anyway.

No, he should be bright and happy, slightly campy Marco with a boyfriend who has a heart of gold and a hair that catches the light and creates an angelic halo. He should be worrying about his presidential duties and being the good dependable son like he'd been for so long. He should be worrying about Ellie and making sure she's okay…

But he isn't, not anymore.

Ellie is purely Paige's concern these days and his parents don't even talk to him anymore and Alex is more president than he is because he's too busy being fucked by her ex-boyfriend to show up most days, too stoned to call, and too content to really care anymore.

Jay's fingers tangle in his hair then slid down the back of his neck, calloused fingers brush the stiff piece of leather he had buckled to his neck. Chapped lips brush over his neck, just above the collar, followed by the wet rasp of a tongue. He arched up into the touch, soft moan drifting over his lips like breath. His fingers gripped denim covered muscle.

He shouldn't be here.

Not like this.

Spinner groans and makes a noise like a curse. He and Sean are sprawled on the couch, legs tangling and near impossible to tell which white t-shirt belonged to which boy. Spinner blows out a trail of smoke then offers the joint to Sean who takes it with a lazy half-smile. Marco watches, eyes a little misty. Jay nips at his neck and he squirms, seeking more of his touch. More. Marco always wants more. Arms wrap around him and he looks up, meeting gray-blue eyes and a slight smirk.

"Marco."

"Mmm?"

Jay leaned down, his hands sliding under Marco's shirt, lips meeting his own. The acrid taste of smoke clung to Jay's lips and mouth and tongue, sliding with Marco's. A heat curled in his stomach, which Marco was beginning to become very familiar with.

He'd never really felt like that when he kissed Dylan but, at the same time, Dylan had always been so very safe. Marco had always been at ease with him, warm and with the fluffy feelings and never worried about what could happen… He always knew it would be okay, never more than he wanted or too fast or painful. Dylan would have treated him like breakable china of the finest grade, cradled and coddled him as much as possible.

Marco never could have had a mark on his skin with Dylan.

Jay was anything but safe. Everything with him was new and worrisome and had the potential to just blow up in Marco's face, and had on occasion, and he felt so…strange, and no longer himself. He'd never imagined harsh kisses and scraping nails and blood and the slide of sweat and screaming himself raw before… He'd never imagined that the bruises that lingered on his hipbones would exist, let alone ache so wonderfully. It made him think of Jay's fingers pressing in, marking him.

He liked wearing Jay's mark. The collar, the bruises, the earrings; even the clothing. Every little thing that he wore meant that he was Jay's because Jay had picked it out, approved of it, and in some cases even bought it. It meant that he belonged. He wasn't so foolish as to think this was forever but it was just so…what he wanted, needed, without ever realizing it was right for him.

He'd thought it, sex, was supposed to be soft and gentle but there was so much more to it than that. It could be that, sure, but it didn't have to be. It could leave you sore and full to the very top and that was wonderful. Marco craved it.

Breathing the same air as Jay, panting for air he couldn't seem to draw in and feeling that hot skin under his fingertips…was intoxicating. Jay's teeth worry over Marco's lips, dragging a gasp from him.

"I'm bored." Spinner's announcement splits through Marco's pleasant smoky haze. He turns and blinks at his friend, his best friend, who peers back with slightly bloodshot eyes.

"That sounds like a personal problem." Jay mutters against Marco's lips and he has the absurd urge to giggle and so he does. He feels the curve of Jay's lips and is rewarded with a teasing lick. He returns the act, tongue being captured between blunt teeth and suckled lightly.

He moaned heatedly, rubbing against Jay and demanding more.

"We should do something."

"You…should do Sean and leave us alone." Jay's voice is only slightly mocking. Marco sighs and turns his head away, pillowing it on Jay's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I thought you liked when we watched." Sean's voice, soft and husky, curled around the room. Jay hums quietly, fingers once again petting Marco's hair. He can feel the vibrations and Marco curls closer to the soothing sound. He feels so right.

This was all so completely wrong.

But he doesn't want it to stop.

Doesn't ever want anything else. Jay's body, pressed so close it's like fitting into a puzzle, Spinner's whining and Sean's quite sarcasm. He thinks this is perfection.

It only took the shattering of who he'd thought he was to get here. He thinks it was rather worth it in the long run. He'd never really liked himself much anyway.

TBC in Chapter One: Only a Fool's Here: Marco finds he can't move on and is drawn to Spinner in spite of his friend's sins. Sean comes 'home'.


End file.
